The Harmony Boys History
The Harmony Boys, a male quartet founded in 1944, were a popular singing group from Altoona, PA, with such hits as “Sometimes I Dream (My Wife Died in a Fire),” “The Chocolate Truffle Shuffle,” and “Everything’s Coming Up Bubbles.” In 1959, the Boys were indefinitely banned from the recording industry by the National Legion of Decency after their woefully misguided children’s album, Bath Time With The Boys. However, due to a legally binding oversight, they were contractually obligated to continue their annual Christmas charity benefit “A Harmony Boys Christmas LIVE in Concert” into the mid-60s.
Bobby Harmony (aka Robert W. Puffman)
Only Bobby Harmony found moderate success as a solo performer with his debut album, Bobby Harmony’s Just Me Singing By Myself. He was also a published author, spending two weeks at #18 on the New York Time’s Bestseller list for his erotic memoirs, A Gentleman’s Guide to Date Rape. Bobby continued performing solo until his death in 1971, the result of a drug overdose from a craze called “honeycombing,” where he would achieve an incredible high by placing a live hornet’s nest deep inside his rectum.
Barry Harmony (aka Barry Pfister, Jr.)
Barry Harmony, a secret but apparently constant homosexual, finally opened up to the Boys about his preferences during the moon landing. The Boys promptly turned him in to the House Un-American Activities Committee and he was subsequently flown to Guantanamo Bay and executed by firing squad. Barry’s corpse was accidentally exhumed during a routine bomb test and mysteriously disappeared. A sack of old Yukon Gold potatoes was re- buried in its place and marked with a gay headstone.
Xian Ling Moon Harmony (aka ???)
Xian Ling Moon Harmony was discovered by an American G.I. in a fire- bombed rice paddy when he was 5 and later adopted by famed husband and wife vaudeville duo, Bruce & Juice from Duluth, MN (Juice was barren). Xian was quickly incorporated into their act and therefore never achieved a single year of actual education, becoming officially recognized by the United States Government as a LARVA, or Legally American Retarded Vaudeville Asian. Xian Ling Moon’s current whereabouts remain unknown.
Billy Harmony (aka Billy Harmon)
After the Boys dissolved, group leader and founder Billy Harmony became increasingly reclusive and moved to rural Vermont with his wife, Ruth, and their two children, Joey and Louise. He died in 1982 after a prolonged battle with lead poisoning, leaving behind a contested will (in which he left everything to the family dog, Ruth 2) and producing a slew of tawdry tell-all books from his children who accused him of domestic abuse, alcoholism, and sport-hunting local minorities.
- The Harmony Boys Salute the Troops (1944)
- A Herky Jerky Turky Day (1947)
- Spurs and Spangles: The Harmony Boys Go West (1951)
- The Harmony Boys Save Columbus Day (1952)
- Boys Beware! (The Truth About Homosexuals): Valentine’s Day with The Harmony Boys (1955)
- When Civil Rights Go Wrong: The Harmony Boys March on Washington (1957)
- Bath Time With The Boys (1959)